The Power of Choosing Yourself: My Journey to Self-Love.

"I Was Never Their First Choice, So I Became My Own."

loving myself

For as long as I can remember, I was always the backup plan ~the afterthought. Whether at work or in friendship, it often felt like I was standing on the sidelines, waiting for someone to notice me, to choose me. But that moment never came. I spent countless nights wondering, Why am I never enough? Why do I always come second?

Then, one day, something shifted.

It wasn’t sudden, but it was powerful. I remember listening to RM of BTS speak about their Love Myself campaign. He said something that stayed with me:

BTS-LOVE YOURSELF CAMPAIGN

“No matter who you are, where you’re from, your skin color, your gender identity: just speak yourself. Find your name, find your voice by speaking yourself.”

I realized that I had been waiting for others to validate me—to say, “You matter.” But I hadn’t given that validation to myself. How could I expect others to choose me when I hadn’t even chosen myself? It was a harsh truth, but it was what I needed to hear.

That’s when I decided: No more waiting. I chose me.

BTS’s “Epiphany” became my guiding light during that transformation. The lyrics spoke to me like nothing ever had:

"I'm the one I should love in this world,
빛나는 나를 소중한 내 영혼을 이제야 깨달아
So I love me."

Translation: "I'm the one I should love in this world,
The shining me, the precious soul of mine.
So I love me."

Hearing those words was like unlocking a door I never knew existed. It wasn’t about being perfect or fitting someone else’s standards—it was about seeing my own worth. I stopped chasing the idea of being someone’s first choice because I finally understood: I’m already enough.

Four years later, I still find myself in moments where I’m overlooked or underestimated. But now, it doesn’t sting the way it used to. Why? Because I’ve made peace with myself. I’ve become my own first choice, and that’s all that matters.

Another song that resonates deeply with me is “Answer: Love Myself.”

"You’ve shown me I have reasons
I should love myself
내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해"

Translation: "You’ve shown me I have reasons
I should love myself
All of my breath and the path I’ve walked answer me."

These words remind me that self-love isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about embracing every step of the journey—the highs, the lows, the flaws, and the victories. Choosing myself first doesn’t mean I’ve stopped caring about others; it means I’ve stopped letting them define me.

J-Hope once said:

💜 “Before loving others, you must first love yourself.” 💜

And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

There was a time when being alone felt like a heavy weight I couldn’t bear. It made me feel invisible, like I didn’t belong. But now, solitude is my sanctuary. It’s where I reconnect with myself, where I remind myself that I’m whole, just as I am. I’m not lonely—I’m at peace.

I started living alone and stopped caring about others—even my closest friends. At first, it felt strange, but then I realized something: it was always like this. Nothing had changed but my mindset. And the moment I set myself free, my heart felt light.

Going out alone became more enjoyable. Meeting strangers and sharing new thoughts with them opened my eyes. Simple things like eating at a restaurant alone or going to the cinema by myself became some of the best days of my life.

Yes, it was hard to take that first step. But once I did, it was the best decision I ever made. And I’m so thankful I realized it sooner, while so many are still struggling to take that leap.

So, close your eyes and take that first step. I promise, you’ll start seeing yourself—and the world—from an entirely different perspective. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, married or unmarried, a man or a woman—it doesn’t matter.

Take that step for you.

You can thank me later.

Warmly,

Jes💜